Let's say you're on a dating website, having an email conversation with a guy who looks good online. He's excited and wants to meet you right away. You haven't even talked on the phone yet and you wonder what you should do. Has this happened to you? What's the best way to handle this situation?

Here's what I tell with my over 40 dating coaching clients and those dating after divorce: You must become skilled at reading between the lines at the beginning. He's enamored with you already just from your photo and a few emails. Hmmm. What's the rush? You think he'd at least want to hear your voice first. That's what you want to do right?

It depends on his agenda. Your agenda is to find a loving, caring, fun, responsible, long-term partner - that's what most women over 40 want. But what is his agenda? Women who qualify men up front are very wise. However, you can't judge a man's actions by what you would do. Men just don't think and act the same way women do. So how do you figure out what his agenda is?

There's only one way to know – IT TAKES TIME. No getting around that. You'll need several interactions to watch for consistency in a man's behavior – between what he SAYS and what he DOES. That's the best dating advice I share with my clients who are dating over 40 and dating after divorce. Your job in dating is to observe his actions.

When a man is in a rush to meet you, he doesn't care if you're a long-term match. He's interested in your looks because he wants to get you into bed. Is this always true? No. But if I were a betting woman, I'd give it at least 95%.

Any man thinking long-term wants to hear your voice to find out if you're crazy, smart or compatible. He can learn a lot from a brief conversation and so can you. After all, how long does it take to make one phone call?

Don't fall for this rush to meet you tactic. There are some less than respectful types out there who have one thing in mind. Nothing wrong with a little action if that is what you want. But if you want a lasting relationship, don't let a guy fool you with his desire to meet you right away.

If he's a good guy, he won't have any objection when you ask to speak on the phone first.

Say, "Let's talk on the phone first. Give me your number and I'll give you a call." Dial *67 before you make the call to block his caller ID, then have a 20-minute conversation.

If you still want to meet each other – go right ahead. Set a date, make a plan for a drink or cup of coffee, take your own car, meet in a public place and see what happens next.

By Ronnie Ann Ryan

Ronnie Ann Ryan woke up on her 40th birthday and realized she might be single for the rest of her life. It was at that moment she decided to turn things around. After dating 30 men in 15 months, she met her husband Paul. And then she knew that if she could do it – others could too – which was why she became a Dating Coach and founded It’s Never Too Late for Love.  Her mission is to share her knowledge and advice on dating with everyone who wants it and is ready to find love.

Her book, MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want has received high praise and is treasured by many as one of the best guidebooks on dating. In it, Ronnie provides the dating tips and strategies that lead her and over 1,000 others to jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. (Check out the right hand side bar to get your copy.) She has been interviewed by Sally Jesse Raphael, appeared on NBC News, Fox News, and ABC’s Chronicle in Boston, MSN.com, MORE.com and many other features in newspaper, magazine and web articles in the US and internationally.

In addition, Ms. Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach, marketing consultant, and writer. She is a speaker and workshop leader who focuses on marketing topics and personal development, and classes for Adult Education programs around New England. Ronnie presents highly effective programs packed with tools that really work with an energetic and humorous style that captivates audiences.

Ronnie has worked in Marketing for 20+ years with Fortune 500 companies, agencies, small businesses, and individuals to develop strategies and implement programs. Ms. Ryan holds an MBA from Northeastern University, a BA from the University of Connecticut , was certified as a Coach (CCC) by Comprehensive Coaching University, and earned her coaching certificate from Coaches Training Institute. She spent seven years in marketing at General Foods (Kraft Foods) and has been consulting since 1990.

Ronnie has multiple websites including:

www.DatingforKeepsExpo.com  ; www.MANifestingMrRight.com ; www.NeverTooLate.biz ;

She can be reached at: 203-877-3777.

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