Over the past year I have heard many singles making excuses for being single. Here are just a few examples:
1. All guys are jerks (sorry guys but that false belief is quite popular)
2. I am too fat, old, busy, etc...
3. I am too picky
4. All the good ones are taken

These are nothing more than negative beliefs that folks are convincing themselves to be true. I am going to challenge all singles to make a resolution to find love in 2011. I have 3 important steps for you to follow. Now I can't guarantee that you will automatically find love if you follow these steps, but I can guarantee that if you don't your chances will decrease significantly. Are you ready...

Step 1. Self Awareness-Look at the qualities in yourself that you could improve. You then need to accept these as areas to change or improve. Whether you are a workaholic, overweight or outdated in your style you need to be willing to address these issues and look and feel your best. Other folks have more behavioral types of challenges like anger, drama or fears. Whatever the issue may be it is now time to address it.  Don't just run out and buy that new outfit to mask the issue (unless of course the issue is outdated style)! Take that money and use it to get some coaching in whatever area you need to grow.

Step 2. Change your outlook and beliefs about dating. If you are using any of the earlier excuses for staying single, you need to eliminate all of them. Write those excuses down on a piece of paper and then rip it up, burn it or flush it down the toilet. Repeat these steps over and over if you need to. Now it is time to start replacing them with more positive thoughts. If you continually convinced yourself that you were unlovable, you need to look in a mirror and say out loud, "I am lovable". It may seem goofy at first but it is time you started believing more positive things about finding love. It is amazing how powerful your thoughts can be.

Step 3. Quite simply now that your beliefs have changed you need to expose yourself to other singles. Come to a speed dating event (www.got5minutes.com) we have so many coming up. Join a meetup group (http://www.meetup.com/CT-Singles-looking-for-a-Match/) or try one of the many online dating sites. If you need help with your profile, got5minutes.com is now offering coaching sessions to singles.

I know first hand folks that this works! I remember 10 years ago having all these negative thoughts. I had just separated from my first husband and convinced myself that I would never find love again. Until one day I passed by a mirror and West Farms Mall and did not like what I saw. I made a decision at that moment to change my life. I changed my look, my beliefs and my life. Shortly after that day I met Erik on an internet dating site. 10 years later we are still happily married. Give it a try folks and you will be surprised!

By Jaimy Blazynski

I am Jaimy Blazynski and I am the dating expert here in the Hartford, CT area. I remember someone asking me what qualifies me to be a dating expert to which I replied “lots of experience”.

Like many of you I was married, divorced, and a single mother for many years. And after 13 match.com dates I met my second husband. I learned a great deal through the entire experience. The most valuable lesson I learned was that attitude is everything. Ok, maybe not everything but a bad attitude can make the most attractive people look ugly!

I began this business in 2005 for 2 reasons. The first is that I want to help others learn from the mistakes I made and the challenges I have had. Everyone can find true love as long as they believe it is available to them. Change your attitude and it can change your life! Especially your love life! The second reason is because I get a rush of excitement every time I make a successful match! And we have had many. So whether you are newly married with your first baby like Melissa and Kevin, in your 40′s Like Dee and Doug, your 50′s like Darcy and Monty or my over 60 couple Rita and Harley you all have one thing in common. You are the success stories of Got 5 Minutes? that make me smile every time I think of you! I always say I will never stop until I have married everyone of! I look forward to meeting all of you at one of our speed dating events.

Jaimy Blazynski is The Date Doctor. You can hear her every Friday afternoon at 5:45 on 96.5 WTIC with Damon Scott. She can also be seen on Better CT at 3:00 PM on Fridays. Jaimy has given dating advice to thousands of people. Let her answer your dating questions

You can contact Jaimy at 860-324-6679 or info@got5minutes.com and she happily gives free advice on her website http://got5minutes.com/

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