"Oh my God, you look fabulous!" all six of us exclaim to our friend, Jennifer, whose wedding is in two days. We're gathered for her pre-bridal party at a tony restaurant in NYC and we haven't seen the "bride-to-be-second-time-around" for over three years while she was working in Florida for her magazine. She'd met someone down there last year and was getting married again. We'd all kept in touch by phone and emails and were excited for her.

"I guess working in Florida is really like being on vacation," says one of our friends admiringly. 

I nod my head in assent and calculate how I can swing a few months in a warmer climate myself.

My friend looks incredible.

Later on as the evening drifts into the late night hours and our friends leave one by one, the bride and I are left alone in the restaurant. I pull out my cell phone ready to call a cab to take us to our respective homes when she stops me, orders two drinks, and asks me if I "can tell."

"Tell what?"  I am baffled.

"About my lifts."  Ah, now I know.

During her time in Florida it seems, she had some "work done;" a whole lot of it as she tells me in detail. Besides getting a vertical facelift, neck lift, and eyelid surgery, both upper and lower, she also had had a butt lift and abdominoplasty to remove excess stomach tissue.

"And remember four years ago when I said I was visiting my parents in Virginia? I was actually in Los Angeles getting a breast augmentation."

"You told us you looked so uplifted because you were doing upper body exercises and had bought the new Victoria's Secret bras!" I remind her.

 "Oh thank God! You mean you couldn't tell?"

I tell her we might have suspected but no one mentioned anything. You look great! I said. Why the big confession now?

"I am deliberating telling James about my new body. He doesn't know the old me, he met me six months after my last procedure. Maybe he should know I've made some improvements. You write about women and relationships-what do you think?"

What do I think? I think.......

Plastic surgery is a very personal decision or it should be one. Having "work" done to improve your appearance and make you feel better is something only you can decide to do. There is nothing wrong with making certain corrections to what nature gave you or having procedures to make you appear fresher and more vibrant. You want to live happily and if that will add to your happiness, go for it. Why not?

And while I told Jen that I don't know if she really needed to have all the "improvements" she had, it is after all a decision that only she and her doctor should make. Sometimes the act of improving can become an addiction.

Whether you choose to tell someone about your procedures is also personal. We all present ourselves to society, including potential partners, in the best possible way we can. Having someone find you attractive, desirable, hot even, is a great ego booster. Isn't that one of the perks of being a couple?

I told Jen what I thought and I also told her something else. James didn't meet the "old" Jennifer, he met her as she is now and that is the person he knows and loves. Enjoy being the new, improved you and begin a new improved life with him.

Let's face it, looking good is its own best reward.

***

Catch our interview with Author Kristen Houghton on Blog Talk Radio on Feb. 2 at 7pm!

By Kristen Houghton

 

Kristen Houghton is the author of the new book, "AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First" published by Gpp Life an imprint of Globe Pequot Press.   It is available all stores where books are sold.

With a foreword and endorsement by Dr. Janet Taylor, prominent NYC psychiatrist and "Today Show" correspondent, this book is for anyone who's ever sacrificed her own happiness trying to make someone else happy . . . who's assigned her happiness, one more time, to some future date "in a galaxy far, far away." With "And Then I'll Be Happy!", Kristen Houghton, gives women the tools they need to shake off the unhappiness epidemic. In a beguiling blend of practical advice and humor, she debunks the myths about how and when women find happiness. Houghton presents true stories of women who put their happiness on hold for different reasons, provides tips on what readers can do to avoid a similar problem, and identifies the major mindsets that keep women from happiness. With this book, women everywhere-whether in the midst of their careers, choosing to be stay-at-home moms, or caring for aging parents-can put their happiness right where it belongs: in the present.

Kristen is a nationally syndicated columnist for Examiner.com,  an affiliate of the  Examiner Newsmagazine Organization, where her highly popular columns reaches readers worldwide. Writing about women's issues, relationships, and living a personally successful life in major print magazines and online for over ten years. Kristen is also a frequent media contributor and speaker. Her innate ability to offer reality-based solutions to life's problems has garnered her praise from fans and critics alike.

She is a strong advocate for Human Rights, Empowerment for Women, and the National Literacy Program. Kristen also lends her support to the North Shore Animal League and Broadway Barks.

Please visit www.andthenillbehappy.com/ 

If you are interested in having Kristen Houghton speak to your group or organization on relationships or life issues, please contact her at: kch@kristenhoughton.com

 

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