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Do You Want to Date a Man Just Like Yourself?
Do you know the kind of man you want to date? more
Being a dating coach, I hear all about the kind of men women want to date. Most have very specific criteria. Often women know exactly what they are looking for including energy level, activities and interests, and economic status.
Do you know the kind of man you want to date? Think about it right now - the personality qualities you must have in a romantic partner. He could be charming, intelligent, affectionate, healthy, active, respectful, enjoy culture, be confident and independent?
This is a common thread among the vast majority of my dating coaching clients. What surprised me is that women tend todescribe a mirror image of themselves! Does that surprise you? Would a man who is similar to your own personality really be a good match?
Whatever happened to opposites attract? What about someone with different interests who could broaden your life experience by sharing with you? What if the guy you are seeking is willing to do the activities you like sometimes if you join him in his favorites?
Let’s get real. If you are looking for a mirror image of yourself, you are dramatically narrowing your options. Expecting a man to be just like you or even like one of your girlfriends is setting an incredibly unrealistic standard. It's a rare man who is going to act like your girlfriend and if he exhibits these qualities, is that a man you want to be with? Will he have enough masculinity to satisfy your needs in a partner?
I doubt it. The right man will likely never resemble you or one of your girlfriends for one simple reason. HE IS NOT FEMALE. He is a MAN. And men are not like your girlfriends (unless they are gay and then they might be.)
Some similarities and cross-overs of interests would be great of course. But of the couples you know – do you often see two introverts together or two social butterflies? Not usually. One person is more reserved and the other is more outgoing. And that is just one example of the differences you might encounter. Some opposition is required to create magic and spark interest. That is part of the master plan.
Do you want a man to manly about his life choices, his willingness to step up to the plate in a challenging situation, or to ever take the lead so you can rest? Then you'll need a real man, not a surrogate girlfriend. Or you could attract a man with a lot of feminine energy who is looking for a strong woman to take charge and care of him. And if that's what you want, that's totally up to you and perfectly fine.
Here’s the point– think about who you want as a partner. What characteristics do you really need? What will help you be compatible and get along well? What will make things fun and interesting?
When you are realistic and acquire a taste for new qualities, it will not only make it easier to find a guy, but you are likely to find a good match a lot faster.
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