Old Flames Are an Illusion

As a dating coach and former torch-holder, here's what I share with my over 40 dating coaching clients about old flames. Holding on to the hope that you'll get back together is nothing more than a happy illusion 99% of the time. I held a torch for 10 long years (OK, I was a slow learner) I thought I couldn't move on until I told my college boyfriend what he was missing and what a mistake he'd made. Then I got to see him after my class reunion.

We had dinner and guess what I discovered… time changes things. He wasn't the same person anymore and neither was I. I got very clear how he was NOT the right guy given where he'd taken his life after dating me.

The funniest thing is that we didn't end up discussing our relationship, my feelings about it. I just didn't need talk about it anymore – what a relief! Now, I could extinguish my torch which helped me feel free! Too bad I wasted 10 years of vital dating time because I couldn't let go. My heart wasn't open to meeting a new man who could have been a much better match for a decade.

7 Techniques to Let Go of Your Ex

Please don't follow in my footsteps, carrying a torch for 10 years. I tell my dating coaching clients to do whatever you need to do to clear things up as soon as possible. Here are seven methods you can try to free yourself from wasting time holding that torch:

1.       Write a letter to your ex telling him/her what you think and then burn it (please DON”T send it!)

2.       Create a visualization in which you imagine telling your ex everything that's on your mind and in your heart

3.       Pray for help to release your ex and let go of hope for his/her return

4.       Ask your angels or higher power to help you be strong, heal and move on

5.       Take time off from dating if you feel too traumatized and allow yourself to heal

6.       Use extreme self care such as massage, Reiki treatments, exercise, facials, anything that helps you relax and honor yourself

7.       Remind yourself of your ex's bad points (come on he/she had loads of them) every time you start to long for the parts you loved to balance those memories and be more realistic

Any of these techniques will help you release your ex and move on.  Choose the technique that’s right for you, apply it as often as needed, and find clarity about your ex as soon as possible.. When you are free, you can face the future with a smile, thinking about who might be next! When you put out that torch, you can find the love you want and deserve.

Follow me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/RonnieAnnRyan

By Ronnie Ann Ryan

Ronnie Ann Ryan woke up on her 40th birthday and realized she might be single for the rest of her life. It was at that moment she decided to turn things around. After dating 30 men in 15 months, she met her husband Paul. And then she knew that if she could do it – others could too – which was why she became a Dating Coach and founded It’s Never Too Late for Love.  Her mission is to share her knowledge and advice on dating with everyone who wants it and is ready to find love.

Her book, MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want has received high praise and is treasured by many as one of the best guidebooks on dating. In it, Ronnie provides the dating tips and strategies that lead her and over 1,000 others to jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. (Check out the right hand side bar to get your copy.) She has been interviewed by Sally Jesse Raphael, appeared on NBC News, Fox News, and ABC’s Chronicle in Boston, MSN.com, MORE.com and many other features in newspaper, magazine and web articles in the US and internationally.

In addition, Ms. Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach, marketing consultant, and writer. She is a speaker and workshop leader who focuses on marketing topics and personal development, and classes for Adult Education programs around New England. Ronnie presents highly effective programs packed with tools that really work with an energetic and humorous style that captivates audiences.

Ronnie has worked in Marketing for 20+ years with Fortune 500 companies, agencies, small businesses, and individuals to develop strategies and implement programs. Ms. Ryan holds an MBA from Northeastern University, a BA from the University of Connecticut , was certified as a Coach (CCC) by Comprehensive Coaching University, and earned her coaching certificate from Coaches Training Institute. She spent seven years in marketing at General Foods (Kraft Foods) and has been consulting since 1990.

Ronnie has multiple websites including:

www.DatingforKeepsExpo.com  ; www.MANifestingMrRight.com ; www.NeverTooLate.biz ;

She can be reached at: 203-877-3777.

Please login to post your comments.