Let's face it women are far more likely to have these deal breaker lists than men. Some of you write them down like a shopping list while others continually recite them over and over again in your heads! We know the list quite well and every man we meet gets dragged through it without even knowing it is happening. Every match.com profile we read gets dissected to see if they qualify and pass our deal breaker test.

Some ladies are laughing at this subject and thinking they just want a "normal" guy. And I know exactly what they mean by "normal"! They just want to meet someone who is funny, attractive, has no major issues and is into them. And I am here to tell you that you can actually find that guy! But the first step is to throw that deal breaker list out the window. Erase it from you brain, burn it, flush it or do whatever it takes to start with a clean slate!

Now there are only two items I want you to have on that new list.

1. Chemistry
2. Respect

I understand there are some obvious things that you can't sacrifice. But it is like putting milk on the shopping list. I know I need milk each week and don't need to write that one down. You will never forget the major deal breakers that are very obvious to you.

But chemistry and respect need to be etched in your mind with every guy you meet. And don't think for one minute that having just one of these will be enough. If you have chemistry with no respect you are being treated poorly. And if you have respect with no chemistry you are bored to death. But if you have both many of the other issues can be worked through.

When I was on match.com over ten years ago I wanted to meet someone interested in having a family. On my first date with Erik he said "I don't want to get married or have children." Three years later Erik and I were married and he became a terrific stepdad to my son, Matthew. And three years after that little Trevor Huck was born and our family was complete!

Sure I understand many women have things that are important to them. And you should never sacrifice the things you value most! Just be careful with that deal breaker list because you may miss out on finding that "normal" guy!

By Jaimy Blazynski

I am Jaimy Blazynski and I am the dating expert here in the Hartford, CT area. I remember someone asking me what qualifies me to be a dating expert to which I replied “lots of experience”.

Like many of you I was married, divorced, and a single mother for many years. And after 13 match.com dates I met my second husband. I learned a great deal through the entire experience. The most valuable lesson I learned was that attitude is everything. Ok, maybe not everything but a bad attitude can make the most attractive people look ugly!

I began this business in 2005 for 2 reasons. The first is that I want to help others learn from the mistakes I made and the challenges I have had. Everyone can find true love as long as they believe it is available to them. Change your attitude and it can change your life! Especially your love life! The second reason is because I get a rush of excitement every time I make a successful match! And we have had many. So whether you are newly married with your first baby like Melissa and Kevin, in your 40′s Like Dee and Doug, your 50′s like Darcy and Monty or my over 60 couple Rita and Harley you all have one thing in common. You are the success stories of Got 5 Minutes? that make me smile every time I think of you! I always say I will never stop until I have married everyone of! I look forward to meeting all of you at one of our speed dating events.

Jaimy Blazynski is The Date Doctor. You can hear her every Friday afternoon at 5:45 on 96.5 WTIC with Damon Scott. She can also be seen on Better CT at 3:00 PM on Fridays. Jaimy has given dating advice to thousands of people. Let her answer your dating questions

You can contact Jaimy at 860-324-6679 or info@got5minutes.com and she happily gives free advice on her website http://got5minutes.com/

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