A friend of mine, Alexis, complained that the biggest obstacle to her getting back out there to find a man or date is the fact that she has not chosen good partners in the past. "I have a history of picking the wrong men!" insisted Alexis.

Do you ever feel like this? It can be a problem.

Don't Ignore What Men Say

Alexis' previous boyfriends were not right for her. She heard what these men said about themselves, but ignored it. She spent eight years with one guy who told her on the day they met he never wanted to get married or have children.

Alexis was so attracted to him, she overlooked his comments and jumped into the relationship. She thought he would change his mind with time. At 45, she looks back at this string of men and wishes she had paid more attention to what they said.

Fear of Making the Wrong Choice Holds You Back

Alexis bemoaned the fact she wasted time with these men and wished she had listened, had been smarter, had picked better. Looking to the future, that is exactly what keeps her from trying again. "With such a bad history, why do I want more?" she asked.

This is an excellent question. However, it makes sense that no one wants more of THE SAME. Who would go for more disappointment?

1. Make a List of Things You Don't Want in a Man

I suggested something revolutionary to Allison. What if she made a list of the red flags that she have chosen to ignore in the past? Would that be helpful? She laughed and asked sarcastically, "What would I do with the list? Stick it on the refrigerator?" I responded with a resounding, "Yes!"

The best thing to do is make a short list of the 5-10 things you never want again in a relationship. Then copy the list and put one on the refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, in your purse, at your desk and maybe even on your night stand. For people who have ignored red flags and have regrets, this reminder is a must and enormously helpful.

2. You Can Learn from Past Mistakes

Remember that your past has made you who you are today. It has formed you, shaped you and made you the rich character you are today. Your relationships are part of your life experience which hopefully has made you smarter and wiser. It certainly can if you chose to look at things this way. I strongly advise it. Regret won't help you move forward, but learning from mistakes will.

3. Don't Let the Past Does Dictate Your Future

That is a true statement from your personal love life to world politics. You cannot let the past dictate your future. But you can LEARN FROM IT! If you still want a loving relationship with a great man, please make your list of red flags and then get back out there to find the love you want and deserve.

Follow me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/RonnieAnnRyan

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By Ronnie Ann Ryan

Ronnie Ann Ryan woke up on her 40th birthday and realized she might be single for the rest of her life. It was at that moment she decided to turn things around. After dating 30 men in 15 months, she met her husband Paul. And then she knew that if she could do it – others could too – which was why she became a Dating Coach and founded It’s Never Too Late for Love.  Her mission is to share her knowledge and advice on dating with everyone who wants it and is ready to find love.

Her book, MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want has received high praise and is treasured by many as one of the best guidebooks on dating. In it, Ronnie provides the dating tips and strategies that lead her and over 1,000 others to jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. (Check out the right hand side bar to get your copy.) She has been interviewed by Sally Jesse Raphael, appeared on NBC News, Fox News, and ABC’s Chronicle in Boston, MSN.com, MORE.com and many other features in newspaper, magazine and web articles in the US and internationally.

In addition, Ms. Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach, marketing consultant, and writer. She is a speaker and workshop leader who focuses on marketing topics and personal development, and classes for Adult Education programs around New England. Ronnie presents highly effective programs packed with tools that really work with an energetic and humorous style that captivates audiences.

Ronnie has worked in Marketing for 20+ years with Fortune 500 companies, agencies, small businesses, and individuals to develop strategies and implement programs. Ms. Ryan holds an MBA from Northeastern University, a BA from the University of Connecticut , was certified as a Coach (CCC) by Comprehensive Coaching University, and earned her coaching certificate from Coaches Training Institute. She spent seven years in marketing at General Foods (Kraft Foods) and has been consulting since 1990.

Ronnie has multiple websites including:

www.DatingforKeepsExpo.com  ; www.MANifestingMrRight.com ; www.NeverTooLate.biz ;

She can be reached at: 203-877-3777.

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